Child Verbal Abuse: What Many Parents Do Not Know

Child verbal abuse is a form of child maltreatment that is harmful to a child's overall development.

What is Child Verbal Abuse?

Child verbal abuse refers to the harsh use of words or tone of voice on a child. Either by a parent or any person in a position of authority, that causes emotional harm to a child.

It involves your consistent use of abusive words to degrade or control your child.

Forms of Verbal Abuse

· screaming,

· name-calling,

· mocking,

· threatening and

· constant criticism.

Verbal abuse can occur at home and in public, and it can be aimed directly or indirectly toward the child.

Conflicts between parents and children are indeed a typical aspect of family life. But when verbal abuse becomes a continuous habit and begins to injure a child’s emotions, it becomes an issue.

Why do parents or caregivers verbally abuse their children?

In our previous article, we identified some reasons for child physical abuse.

Parents may verbally abuse their children for similar reasons. But remember, we mentioned that there is no justification for any form of abuse.

Let us highlight some factors that can contribute to caregiver verbal abuse.

1. Anger: Parents who are stressed and lack stress management skills may transfer verbal aggression to their children. When you cannot manage your emotions properly, it can lead to using random insulting words against your child.

2. History of abuse: If you have experienced verbal abuse while growing up or as an adult, you may continue the cycle without knowing. This is because you may have learned to use foul words as a normal way of correcting or controlling a child.

3. Substance abuse: Parents under the influence of drugs and alcohol may lack self-control, increasing the likelihood of verbal abuse. In such unstable conditions, they tend to use offensive words against their child, even when they do nothing wrong.

4. Unmet expectations: Parents who have high hopes for their child's development may become angry when they are not met. For instance, if your child’s academic performance is low, you may easily resort to name-calling like block-head.

5. Socio-economic factors: Parents who face serious issues such as poverty, unemployment, and debt are likely to use verbal abuse as a natural coping method. They may use hurtful words against their child at the slightest provocation.

Effects of Verbal Abuse on Children

Verbal abuse can have significant and long-lasting effects on children’s well-being.

Here are some common effects of verbal abuse on children:

· Development of Mental Health Disorder: Constant exposure to verbal abuse makes children experience persistent fear and sadness. Of course, they are kids and will struggle with managing their emotions.

So, if this continues for a long time, it can lead to mental health issues like depression.

· Low self-esteem: Verbal abuse can reduce your child's sense of self-worth. He will soon accept your constant abusive comments as truth. He will start feeling ashamed. Then, he develops a negative self-image and a lack of confidence in his abilities.

· Poor social skills: Verbal abuse can hinder the development of healthy social skills in your child. They may struggle with building trusting relationships and expressing themselves confidently. In the future, they end up becoming loners.

· Academic difficulties: Verbal abuse can negatively impact your child's academic performance. Everyday use of harsh language can weaken their motivation to learn. Their concentration in class may become poor, leading to poor grades.

· Risk of committing suicide: Continued exposure to verbal abuse can increase the risk of self-harming behaviors and suicidal thoughts in children. They may feel desperate to escape the emotional pain you are causing them by abuse.

It is important to note that the effects of verbal abuse can extend into adulthood and cause damage to their lives.

Instead of verbally abusing your child, try the following:

. Praise your child: Always acknowledge your child's positive conduct. There are three ways you could do this.

First, use words of appreciation. For instance, when they do the dishes properly, you say ‘Good job!

Second, use words of affirmation. When you finish dressing up your child for an occasion, use a comment like ‘You are so beautiful’.

Third, use words of encouragement. For example, if they score 3 out of 5 on their math test as opposed to 2 in the previous term. Tell them, ‘Keep it up. I see that you are doing your best and I’m proud of you.

The right words can motivate your child to repeat desired behaviours and build self-esteem. Do not only punish them for making mistakes, praise them when they behave right.

· Create a nurturing environment: If you have to punish your child because they did wrong, do it respectfully. Explain the reasons behind the rules and punishments you give.

Do not always sound authoritative. Sometimes, speak in a compassionate tone. Then the child knows you are acting in their best interests and not out of impulse.

In conclusion, it is never too late to correct what has gone wrong. If you have been verbally abusive to your child, now focus on providing them with the support they need to heal from the emotional wounds. If you have never used insulting words on your kids, good. Remain that way!