Disvirgined By Razor Blade

Photocredit: Pixabay

'E kaason ma', knelt Abike, greeting the two women she saw on her way from the market. Iya Kola and Iya Fatai.

They were her mummy's friends. As she passed by them, they stared at her curves. At 15, Abike already had the body of an adult. She was attractive.

'Very soon, Ajake boys and maybe our husbands will start chasing her'. Hissed Iya Fatai.

'Iya Abike is yet to circumcise her. We have to go and talk to her about it.'  Iya Kola replied.

The next day, Abike was on her way to the stream when Gbenro saw her. He quickly left his farming equipment and started running after her.

'Abike! Abike mi!! He caught up with her panting.

Gbenro had liked Abike since she was ten. They had both attended the same primary school and now, the same community secondary school. 

They were agemates but he felt like he could marry her.

Abike stared at him, surprised. 'Gbenro, ki lo de? kilode ti o fi n pariwo oruko mi ni gbogbo abule?

'I'm sorry Abike. I just wanted to see you. Said Gbenro.

'Ok, now you've seen me. Goodbye'. She started walking away.

But Gbenro continued walking with her till they got to the stream. He helped her fetch water in her pot and carried it. They gisted along the way.

Abike liked him too. He was a nice guy. But she was afraid. She didn't want the villagers to think that there was something between both of them. Especially the women's gossip group where Iya Fatai and Iya Kola belonged.

That was the easiest way to push for genital mutilation or circumcision.

She feared getting cut. It was an experience she had seen most of her friends go through and the horrific tales they told her. They never remained the same. In fact, she lost her classmate Kehinde to excessive bleeding.

It got to the junction for Abike to take home, but Gbenro held her arms. Desiring to speak more with her. In that instance, Iya Fatai came out of the farm with her hoe in hand.

'E ka a ale ma, greeted Abike and Gbenro, shocked.

'E kú isé o'. She answered sarcastically.

That evening, Abike overheard Iya Fatai and Iya Kola discussing with her mother by the fireplace.

'I saw them myself. If I hadn't come out who knows what they would be doing! Lied Mama Fatai.

'You have to perform the rites on her now. You know you are the Women leader in the whole of the Asake community. Your daughter cannot be promiscuous. It will only bring disgrace to your family and title.'  Iya Kola answered.

'I trust my daughter. I know she will not do anything stupid. It's the Gbenro guy I don't trust.' Iya Abike responded.

'You can't trust any of them o. They are teenagers, they don't use their brains. Their emotions control them.' Scoffed Iya Fatai.

'In that case, let Iya Ojo come and circumcise Abike. She does the best female circumcision. I don't want to take chances. My daughter must remain a virgin till she marries.'

Abike heard it and ran inside crying. After both women had gone, she ran to her mum begging.

'Iya mi jọwọ. I cannot go through that pain. I wasn't doing anything with Gbenro. You've protected me all these years. Please don't stop now.'

Her mum held her. 'It is necessary my daughter. It is tradition. And the community women would despise me if I refuse. Especially because they have reason to think that you are becoming unchaste'.

Abike pleaded in tears to no avail. Her father too, was adamant.

Abike thought of running away. But where could she run to? Her village was in a remote location in Ekiti state. 

Iya Ojo came the following day. With her circumcision materials. She was a 64-year-old woman, who circumcised most girls in the village.

'Relax my dear. It would only hurt for a while. Your mother wants the best for you'. She told Abike as she laid the mat.

She was going to perform Type 2 Genital Mutilation on her. That meant the total removal of  Abike's Clitoris and Labia.

Abike's cries could be heard hundreds of miles away as she was cut. When Iya Ojo was done, she wrapped the blade in a cloth. The other women's attendants cleaned Abike up as she bled.

Throughout her teenage years, Abike suffered severe vagina itching. This was coupled with consistent urinary tract infections because her vagina was exposed and there was no hygienic system for passing waste in the village.

Gbenro heard about her cut and felt hurt. He loved her still.

Seven years later, he returned from Ado-Ekiti where he had secured a job.

He asked Abike, who was now teaching in the village primary school, to marry him. 

It was a beautiful celebration. They both returned to Ekiti town after their wedding ceremony.

The problem started when Abike always complained of pain during sexual intercourse. Gbenro would understand and let her be sometimes.

One year later, Abike got pregnant. Her delivery process wasn't normal. The abnormal opening in her vagina caused her to have obstructed labour. The pain was extraordinary.

She had to be cut again so the baby could come out. Immediately after her child was born, Abike became calm. When she held her child in her arms, she simply smiled and put her away. She sank into depression.

While she was cut during her delivery, she remembered when her genitals were removed at 15. The pain returned and made her sad.

Gbenro was excited about his new baby but noticed his wife wasn't. Every time he asked, she pretended nothing was wrong.

One day in the bathroom, her stitching tore open. She was rushed to the hospital. Then the doctor called Gbenro aside and advised against having another child.

'Due to her multiple cuts, we risk losing her during another childbirth. Dr. Fatusi said.

When Abike was told, she sank further into depression. She was losing her mind. Gbenro spoke to her and she finally opened up.

'Ever since I was cut, my mind and body have been suffering.' She cried.

She had to start visiting the psychiatric hospital. There she got counsel and support. It was a slow but gradual healing process.

Abike got better. She grew to love herself and accept the situation. She had a loving husband and a beautiful girl, she counted her blessings. Two years later, they adopted a boy.

Today, Abike with the support of her husband is advocating for the end of female circumcision in Ekiti state. She started with her village, Ajake, educating parents and community members on the deadly effects it has on girls.

Using herself as an example, she debunks the myths about female circumcision.

Abike would say, 'If a blade penetrates a girl's genitals, and she bleeds, it's as good as being disvirgined by a male'.

It's not an easy task. As female circumcision has been a practice for generations. But Abike is determined not to stop until no girl ever has to be disvirgined by a razor blade.

She hopes that you reading this, will join her in calling for the end of the barbaric practice.

The End.